It is Saturday afternoon and I should be preparing to watch the Red Sox first World Series game in 17 years. For me, it was more than half a lifetime ago when the Sox and Mets battled for seven games in the Fall of 1986. I had waited patiently for all those years and it was time for another chance to watch the Bosox in the Fall Classic. Unfortunately, Grady Little robbed me of that opportunity. In 1986, there were many Sox that contributed to the Game Six meltdown against the Mets – Manager John McNamara, Bill Buckner, Calvin Schiraldi, Bob Stanley, Rich Gedman. The offense scored only three runs and Roger Clemens may or may not have taken himself out the game because of a blister. On Thursday night, nearly every Sox player did his job. Pedro had essentially beaten the Yankees. He pitched brilliantly and gutted his way through a rough seventh inning in which he was clearly losing it. The offense whacked three homers and roughed up Roger Clemens. Timlin and Embree continued to get the job done, pitching 1 2/3 innings of hitless relief. The defense played well with the possible exception of Trot Nixon’s unfortunate path to Derek Jeter’s shot in the eighth inning. Still, that was a tough play. The only major gaffe by the players was their inability to push across run number five in the fourth inning despite having a runner on third and no outs. This loss falls on the shoulders of one man - Grady Little. Little as in “little” sense, “little” managing ability and “little” clue about the limitations of his number one starter. Leaving an exhausted Pedro in the game for four consecutive Yankee hits in the eighth inning was possibly the worst managing in postseason baseball history. Even Johnny Mac’s unwillingness to remove Bill Buckner from the field in the bottom of the tenth in Game Six in 1986 does not compare.

It was obvious to me and probably most Red Sox fans that Pedro Martinez was losing it in the seventh inning of Game Seven. Jorge Posada hit a ball hard for an out, Jason Giambi belted a long homerun and Karim “Groundskeeper Beater” Garcia hit a hard single. I wondered if Pedro should be taken out when Soriano came to the plate as the go-ahead run. I decided that Pedro should stay in the game to face Soriano because he had fanned the Yankee second baseman three times already. This, however, would surely be his last batter of the night. Pedro whiffed Soriano and the Sox dodged the first dangerous situation since the first inning. David Ortiz homered in the top of the eighth to give Boston a three run lead, which may have kept Pedro in the game. Martinez came out for the eighth which didn’t seem like a terrible move. Let him pitch until he allows a baserunner, I thought. Embree and Timlin will be ready if that happens. After getting Johnson to pop out, Jeter hit a shot to deep right for a double. No sign of Grady. This isn’t good. Bernie Williams follows that up with a hard single driving in Jeter. If giving up a hard hit ball to Bernie Williams isn’t a sign that a pitcher is done, I don’t know what is. Here comes Grady to get Pedro one batter too late. But, Grady leaves the mound without Pedro. Hideki Matsui, a lefthanded batter who had the key hit against Pedro in Game Three is coming up to the plate. Pedro was running out of gas an inning ago. Matsui is the tying run and the right field fence is about 310 feet away. Alan Embree is ready. This can’t be happening. Matsui smashes a ball to right field for a double. Still no Grady. Did he fall asleep in the dugout? Up steps Jorge Posada. Pedro actually finds the strength to throw some decent pitches to Posada but then comes the all-to-familiar lucky Yankee hit. This time it is a weak pop-up to center that lands between three fielders. It wouldn’t be the postseason without the Yankees getting a lucky break … or five. Lucky or not, it doesn’t excuse Grady Little. Embree finally arrives, followed by Timlin, and the Sox survive the inning tied. Unfortunately, Mariano Rivera is coming into the game and he’ll probably be there for three innings.

The Sox nearly won the game twice against Rivera. First in the ninth inning when Todd Walker’s flare to right nearly got over Soriano to drive in Damian Jackson with the go-ahead run. The Sox nearly took a one-run lead again in the tenth inning when David Ortiz missed a homer to leftfield by about ten feet. After Rivera pitched his third inning in the eleventh, there was a glimmer of hope. He'd be leaving the game and the Sox had the top of the order coming up in the twelfth innning. If only they can survive the bottom of the eleventh they will be in decent shape, I thought. Aaron Boone ended those hopes quickly.

Having suffered with this team for 25 years, I never felt confident that the Red Sox would win the game even when the score was 4-0. My first bad feeling came in the fourth inning when the Sox, already ahead 4-0, had runners on first and third and no outs. A fifth run might take the Yankees out of it completely, but Varitek whiffed and Damon hit into a double play (I don’t even want to think about how rare that is). That one run floated out there like a missed extra point in football. Somehow I knew it would cost us the game. I thought about the past and wondered how big the lead would have to be for me to really be confident that the Sox were going to win. I decided that number was 12. Things looked much better when Pedro barely survived the seventh inning and David Ortiz added insurance in the eighth. During the season, a three run lead with this bullpen was tenuous. But the way that Embree, Timlin and Williamson had pitched in the playoffs, three runs seemed like a lock. They could even go to Derek Lowe. The Red Sox failed to win the American League East because of their bullpen. The irony is that they lost this game because they did not utilize the bullpen. Mike Timlin was in a zone for two weeks. He had been throwing like Orel Hershiser circa 1988, yet somehow Grady didn’t trust him to start the eighth inning.

I think that the next time the Sox find themselves in a winner-take-all playoff game, they should purposely let the other team take the lead. The Sox led the Reds 3-0 in Game Seven of the 1975 Series. They led the Yankees 2-0 in the 1978 one game AL East playoff. They even took a 3-0 lead against the Mets in Game Seven in 1986.

I can’t possibly see how Grady Little keeps his job. His moves all season were questionable. His moves in the Oakland series were dreadful. His moves in the eighth inning of Game Seven border on “time for an investigation” territory. Was some New York mobster holding Grady’s family hostage? I don’t know how else to explain it. The fans will never forgive him. I wonder how the players feel? I have to believe that they too feel that Grady cost them a trip to the Series.

Grady did the biggest disservice to Pedro Martinez by not taking him out of the game. Pedro had beaten New York. The moronic Mayor of New York City criticized Pedro publicly for defending himself against Don Zimmer as if Zimmer has nothing to do with it. Yankee fans ripped Pedro and waved “Kill Pedro” signs at Yankee Stadium. Apparent mind-reader Joe Torre jumped all over Pedro, saying that he was sure that Pedro threw at Karim Garcia’s head on Saturday. The Yankee hypocrites apparently forgot about or decided to ignore the proclivities of a certain Mr. Clemens. I could almost hear Mike Piazza saying “Are you kidding me?” Pedro could have beaten these jackals. The Yankees certainly didn’t beat him. He whipped them for seven innings. Pedro took the high road and defended Grady for not removing him from the game. Pedro might be the only one who does.

It seems silly to talk about curses but every time this happens, it makes me wonder. It’s not just the big ones like 1978, 1986 and 2003. There’s something bizarre in nearly every Sox postseason appearance.

• In 1995, the Sox lost Game One of the ALDS to Cleveland when Tony Pena hit a 13th inning game-winning homer. That’s the same Tony Pena that batted about .160 for the Red Sox and hit a homer about once every two years.
• In 1998, Tom Gordon blew his first save opportunity since April in Game Four of the ALDS as the Sox lost to Cleveland, 2-1. The loss sent the Tribe to the ALCS. Pedro Martinez was scheduled to pitch in Game Five.
• In 1999, the Yankees enjoyed the most incredible string of lucky breaks and bounces in Games One and Two of the ALCS. The Sox hit two balls of the top inch (literally) of the rightfield fence at Yankee Stadium for doubles. Those players never scored. The Yanks had a seemingly unlimited supply of accidental bloop hits. The umpire even got into the act with one of the worst calls I’ve ever seen in a playoff game. The Sox lost each of the first two games by one run, one in extra innings. Pedro won Game Three, 13-1. The Sox should have been up three games to none. Instead they were two games away from elimination.

Losing any series to the Yankees is agony, but this one was particularly painful because the Florida Marlins were waiting on the other side. The Marlins are a good ballclub, but they are not Bob Gibson and the 1967 Cardinals, the 1975 Big Red Machine or the 108-win 1986 Mets. Those were the Red Sox last three World Series opponents. They are also arguably the three toughest National League Champions of the past 40 years.

A little extra anxiety about the Red Sox came over me when the Cubs lost the three run lead in Game Six of the NLCS. After Monday’s Sox victory, a piece of me felt that there might be some destiny that was about to bring the Cubs and Sox together for an epic battle to end at least one Curse. Instead, the Cubs and Red Sox both lost in excruciating and bizarre fashion. I guess that is the real destiny. The similarities are eerie: both teams had three runs leads in the eighth inning with a chance to win the pennant; both teams were five outs away with no one on base; and both teams had their aces on the mound (though at least one ace’s tank was on “E”). But of course, both teams lost. Everyone outside of the baseball fans in New York and Florida (in other words, baseball fans in New York) wanted to see a Cubs-Red Sox World Series. Instead, we will be treated to the New York Monees against the Florida Fanless Fish. Absolutely sickening. I would rather bathe my eyes in lemon juice than watch this year’s World Series.

Red Sox fans will hear plenty of grief from Yankee supporters. Don’t listen to any of it. The Yankees have succeeded in recent years for one reason: a gargantuan payroll. If anyone thinks for one minute that the Yankees would even be in playoffs without their escalating payroll, they are either dumb or in a state of complete denial. I will be the first to admit that the Yankees earned their 1998 Championship. They would have won the Series that season with or without George’s limitless funding. Since then, their success has been all about the benjamins. The Yankee payroll now stands at $180 million. The Sox spent about $105 million. Oakland, a team that would have beaten both the Red Sox and Yankees with a healthy Mark Mulder, spent only $50 million in 2003. The Yankee gluttony knows no bounds and I am disgusted with Major League Baseball for not implementing a salary cap when they had the chance. The luxury tax only helps the Yankees. The luxury tax paid by the Yankees should help the very small market teams to be a little more competitive but the second tier teams (Boston, the Mets, LA, Atlanta, Arizona) will fall even further behind the Yankees because those teams cannot afford to pay the luxury tax. For those clubs, there is a salary cap. I think some fans may abandon baseball permanently if the Yankees sign Vladimir Guerrero this winter.

Pedro showed in Game Seven why he is not a $20 million per year pitcher. He is a seven inning, 100-pitch starter. Each season he spends a little more time on the disabled list, loses a mile per hour on his fastball and loses his effectiveness a little bit earlier in each game. He’s still a great pitcher but the deterioration is there, albeit at a slow rate. This winter’s contract negotiations will be interesting. Theo Epstein absolutely cannot offer Pedro a guaranteed extension longer than two or three years. I cannot imagine that Pedro will still be an effective starter by 2007. I’ve been wondering if Martinez may eventually become a closer. No matter how good he is, you can’t keep someone in the rotation that tires after 80 pitches. I’m guessing that is where we are headed with Pedro within a couple of years.

I was in Fort Myers on February 28th when the Sox played their second exhibition game. Little (no pun intended) did I know how it would all end nearly seven months later. Right now I feel like I never want to see another baseball game as long as I live. But, I have felt this way before and somehow the winter eases the pain. I’m sure I’ll be back in 2004, cautiously optimistic but prepared for yet another emotional beating. That is what being a Boston Red Sox fan is all about.