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Random Notes - November 14, 2002 
How ridiculous is the BCS/Bowl system in NCAA football? Boston College
may have actually cost itself a bowl slot because they beat
Notre Dame. Let me explain. The Big East Champion is guaranteed a BCS slot
which would put them in one of the four top bowl games (Orange, Sugar, Fiesta, Rose).
The Big East also has contractual obligations with the Gator, Insight, Continental Tire and
San Francisco Bowls. Notre Dame is also eligible to take one of the Big East bowl
slots as long as they are bowl eligible. The key part here is there are two at-large BCS
bids up for grabs (ie. teams that did not win their conference championship). This easiest
way to explain this is by using two scenarios. Each scenario assumes that BC finishes 5th in the
Big East (and is thus fifth in line among Big East teams for bowl slots behind Miami, Pitt,
Virginia Tech and West Virginia).
Speaking of BC, did anyone catch the color commentary of ESPN (and former Notre Dame Coach) Bob Davie
during the BC-West Virginia game on Saturday? This may have been the single worst performance by
a football announcer ever. Davie repeatedly called BC quarterback Brian St. Pierre "Pierre" (a guy
he coached against and recruited) and also mistakenly called West Virginia
quarterback Rasheed Marshall "Rasheed Wallace" on more than one occasion. If you can't remember the
names of the quarterbacks, you clearly don't belong in the booth. Davie also
questioned nearly every single call by the officials that went in favor of Boston College, most of which
were good calls. He mispronounced player names all day long, sometimes calling players by their first
name. I think all Notre Dame haters are very depressed that this guy is no longer coaching the Irish.
The question is: will ESPN extend Davie's contract by five years like Notre Dame did in 2000?
I must admit that I take the greatest of pleasure in seeing the Lakers
sitting at 2-6 while playing without Shaquille O'Neal. Brainwashed fans
and Los Angeles sports radio personalities have been making foolish claims
over the past three years that the Lakers would still be a 45-50 win team
without O'Neal for the entire season. I think the early season proves
beyond a shadow of a doubt that LA is nothing without Shaq. Beyond Shaq,
Kobe and Robert Horry, the Lakers are the biggest collection of stiffs
ever assembled. The Lakers are not a great "team" by any definition.
They have one of the best duos of all-time and the most dominant player
since Wilt Chamberlain, but like the 1990's Bulls, it is a stretch to use
the word "team" to describe them. Kobe Bryant is a tremendous player, but
he has proven over the first eight games that without Shaq drawing the
attention of the defense, he is not much better than Vince Carter.
I also laugh when I hear people talk about the Lakers being "unbeatable"
in the Playoffs as long as Shaq is in the lineup. Are these people
watching the same games that I am? LA fans will endlessly deny that it was
friendly officiating that allowed the Lakers to beat Sacramento in the
Western Semis last season (and Portland in Game 7 in 2000 as well), but
everyone outside of LA knows the truth. The Lakers have won three titles
in a row, but they have only earned one. Even if you discount the
officiating, the Lakers needed a buzzer-beater by Robert Horry and several last
minute wins to
survive in the Western Conference a year ago. It is mind-boggling how
people can come up with the word "unbeatable" after witnessing that.
In case you missed it, Miami of Ohio Defensive Coordinator Jon Wauford was arrested and
taken off the field in handcuffs after allegedly shoving a fan who had come out onto the
field to celebrate Marshall's last second win. The fan hit his head on the
artificial turf and was taken to a local hospital with a concussion. When I first heard
this news, I was angry that a football coach would lay out an overexuberant college student just for
running onto the field after his team won the game. As foolish as it is,
it has become tradition for the students to storm the field after any
moderately important home victory. The coaches should understand this.
Later, however, I learned that the person who was injured was not a
college undergrad, but a 36-year-old man. Of course this changed
everything in my mind. If anyone deserves to be whacked onto the turf, it
is a 36-year-old man running out onto a college field after a
win over Miami of Ohio. I sincerely hope that Jon Wauford and Miami of Ohio don't
suffer because of the complete idiocy of this 36-year-old teenager.
There was much discussion this week about who should win the American
League MVP, Alex Rodriquez or Miguel Tejada. It is clear that A-Rod had
the better year than Tejada and in fact, it is arguably the greatest year ever by a
shortstop. The other side of the argument is that A-Rod's Rangers
finished in last place so how valuable could he have been? The
Rangers may have broken the major league for losses in a season without
A-Rod, but is that enough to justify giving him the award? Though I
agree with the choice of Tejada, I do understand the point of view for those
supporting Rodriguez. This argument has come up many times over the years and
many times the player on the last place team has won the MVP Award.
To me, the solution is simple. Baseball needs a
third award called the "Player of the Year." This award would be given
each year to the most outstanding position player. This would mean that
the Most Valuable Player Award could be reserved for a player that truly made
a difference to a winning team, like Tejada, and the Player of the Year Award
could be given to the player who had the best overall season - in this case Rodriguez.
The added benefit to the
extra award is that pitchers would be given more consideration for
the MVP. There are some voters who believe that a pitcher should not win the
MVP simply because there is already an award for them (the Cy Young).
With the Player of the Year Award, voters could no longer make this
argument because there would be one award for pitchers, one award for position players and one award open
to all players.
While on the subject, Alex Rodriguez was given a $200,000 bonus for
finishing second in the MVP race. In case you missed it, A-Rod's contract
pays him an average of $25 million per year, but somehow his agent felt
that some additional bonuses were necessary. Can you imagine those
negotiations?
This year Phil Simms and Boomer Esiason are both on the preliminary list of nominees
for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. If Simms and Esiason both make the Hall it
will be good news for fans of both the Giants and
Bengals. It would also be good news for the guy whose job it is to make the Hall
of Fame bronze busts because he could create one head and
then just make a copy.
Random Notes - October 30, 2002
For the second year in a row, baseball fans were treated to one of the great
World Series' of all-time.
Like the Yankees and Diamondbacks a year ago, the Angels and Giants provided
dramatic comebacks, late inning
heroics and great stories. This year's World Series was particularly
special because it matched two
organizations that earned their trips to the Series through hard work, solid
scouting and intelligent
personnel moves, not merely because they had the deepest pockets. With the
exception of the egomaniacal
Jeff Kent and Barry Bonds, the players on both teams are extremely likeable.
Each features a great mix
of "out-of-nowhere" rookies, All stars in their primes and experienced
veterans looking for a last chance
at success. In Barry Bonds, we may have witnessed the most dominant player
since Babe Ruth. I am not a
Barry Bonds fan, but I can't help but marvel at his outrageous
talents.
The only negative part of the Angels victory is that it rewards their
enormous contingent of bandwagon fans.
Outside of Montreal and the Florida teams, Anaheim probably has the worst
fans in the league. I have been
to Red Sox-Angels games at Edison Field in each of the past two seasons.
Each time there were about 25,000
people in attendance, 20,000 of which are rooting for the Red Sox. Granted,
there are some truly diehard
Angels fans that were deserving of seeing their hard-luck team finally win
the championship, but the vast
majority of people in attendance at Edison Field during the playoffs could
not have named more than two
Angel players four weeks ago. The fact that the crowd was so loud during
the Series shows how truly
committed Southern Californians are to jumping on the latest trend. It is
truly disgusting.
I loved seeing Angel relievers Brendan Donnelley and Ben Weber wearing those
goofy specs on the mound.
Dodger closer Eric Gagne also sported the glasses on the mound this season. See, I
knew that the Kent Tekulve look
would make a comeback.
What are the odds that major league baseball would ever have two
Benji's/Bengie's in the league, much less on
the same team. The World Series featured two Benji's, two Ortiz, two
Rodriquez and two Molinas.
Was I the only one expecting a Bad News Bears-like ending to the World
Series? I envisioned a scenario
with the Angels up by four, bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth
inning of Game 7. Barry Bonds
strides to the plate. Like Vic Morrow's Roy Turner, Mike Sciosia signals
for the intentional walk to
Bonds with the bases loaded. Then, in true Kelly Leak fashion, Bonds lunges
across the plate and rips the
intentional ball into the gap. As the Angels fumble the ball around the
outfield, Bonds tries for the
inside-the-park homerun and as he reaches the plate ...
At the top of my list of people that deserve to be shot is the guy that
created the "Thunderstick" that
TV and live audiences were tortured with during the World Series. I think
someone needs to find this guy
and spend a couple of weeks following him around (to work, to the
supermarket, to softball practice)
incessantly banging those plastic noisemakers directly into his ear. Only
then will he realize the
complete and utter evil of his invention.
I think that the major reason why the Angels won the Series is because they
were much more focused on the
task at hand. The Giants seemed more concerned with whose kid would be the
batboy than they were with
winning the series. Dusty Baker should be put in jail for allowing his three
year old son to run around on a
major league baseball diamond. LA Times columnist T.J. Simers came
up with a great nickname for Dusty's
son Darren - the "Rally Brat."
Hopefully, the success of midmarket teams like Anaheim and San Francisco
will continue in the coming years
with help from the new revenue sharing agreement that will begin next
season. The agreement, though a step
in the right direction, does not appear to do enough to spur true
competitive balance in major league
baseball. Many questions remain: Will the luxury tax coupled with
increased revenue sharing put an end to
the Yankee Buynasty? Will tightwad owners like the Twins Carl Pohlad
actually spend their revenue
sharing checks on players or will they simply pocket the profits? Will the
owners finally show some fiscal
responsibility when it comes to negotiating player contracts? Will Batman
escape the Joker's fiendish
torture device? (sorry, wrong subject).
The Angels have had the Rally Monkey for two years though no one noticed
until this year's playoffs. Given
the Angels' success in making late inning comebacks, it seems likely that
many of the other clubs will
add their own rally creatures. Here are some ideas:
I have harped on this issue many times but it always bears repeating. What
an absolute disgrace that once again this year not
a single World Series weekend game was televised before 8:00 pm. It is
criminal that Major League Baseball
and FOX cannot start one or two World Series games at 5:30 pm Eastern Time
to accommodate young fans that
may not be able to stay up to see the games to their conclusion. Game Six was one of the All-time
great baseball games, as was
Game Seven a year ago and I'm sure not many kids under the age of 11 were
able to see the conclusion of
either game. Clearly, additional revenues gained now via the 8:00 pm start
time will be more that offset
by losses in revenue twenty years from now when no one under the age of 45
will even care about baseball.
This is yet another indication that the owners, players and network
executives are concerned only with
making their money now and care nothing about the future of the sport.
Baseball is rapidly losing the
interest of its young fan base (and potential fan base) and they don't seem
to care one bit.
I love the idea of the Expos playing in Boston next year if for no other
reason than it gives the Red Sox
a chance to convince Vlad Guerrero how much he loves Boston. I guy can
dream can't he?
Random Notes - October 11, 2002
On paper, the 2002 Red Sox look outstanding. Their top two starters will likely end up #1 and #2 in the Cy Young
balloting and three of their starters finished among the top four in ERA in the American League. Uggie
struggled at times but converted 40 of 46 of his save opportunities. Nomar Garciaparra had an MVP caliber year with
a career-best 85 extra base hits, Manny Ramirez hit 33 homers, drove in 107 and won a batting title despite
missing 42 games and Johnny Damon gave the Sox their best
leadoff hitter since a certain chicken-eating Nebraskan owned the spot a decade ago. Shea Hillenbrand proved
to be a solid major league starter and Rey Sanchez filled an enormous void at second base. With all this, the Sox
still managed to finish six games out of a playoff spot. I'm not sure any team in history has accomplished less
with more than the 2002 Red Sox. The biggest reason for their ultimate failure was their total inability to
make clutch pitches and get clutch hits in the 8th and 9th innings. As a result, the Sox were 13-23 in one-run
games, including 6-20 in their last 26 one-run games. The Red Sox actually outscored their opponents by a
whopping 194 runs in 2002. Here are some numbers to put this in perspective:
Reality shows featuring lunatics like Ozzy Osbourne and Anna Nicole Smith are grabbing huge ratings these days.
ESPN, I have four words for you: "The John Rocker Show." Speaking of John Rocker, did you notice that his
final 2002 ERA was 6.66? Spooky.
To the people attending home games played by the Angels, A's and Twins. Where the hell were you all season?
By the way, the Orange County Transportation Authority will be running extra bandwagons to and from Edison Field
during the Playoffs for you convenience.
The Major League Baseball League Championship Series' will feature the Twins, Angels, Giants and Cardinals.
The last time I saw these matchups it was 1988 and I was playing R.B.I. Baseball. Nintendo Wally Joyner was THE MAN!
R.B.I. Baseball and Tecmo Bowl will always be the greatest video games of all time. I had to retire from video
games when the controller went from three buttons to 38.
I finally caught an episode of CSI: Miami the other night. For some inexplicable reason, the creators
decided that David Caruso's character should be named "Horatio." Is there anyone on earth that looks less
like a "Horatio" than David Caruso? That makes about as much sense as casting Dennis Franz and calling him "Fabio."
There aren't many better names in sports than that of tennis player Anna Smashnova. Sounds like a cross
between Anna Kournikova and Jennifer Capriati. Or would that be Anna Smashednova?
I'm convinced that Saddam Hussein is working as a maintenance man in my office complex. The resemblance is uncanny.
Just the other day, I saw him carrying a folder labeled "W.M.D." When I asked him about it, he replied "It
stands for, ummm, Waste, ummm, Management Department. Yeah, that's it." Hmmm.
To the Red Sox Public Relations Department, I have two words for you: "Rally Lobster."
Random Notes - September 12, 2002
For what seems like the fifteenth year in a row, Syracuse looks like an intramural flag football team to start the
season. Two weeks ago, BYU racked up roughly 12,000 yards of total offense in their drubbing of the Orangemen
and last week North Carolina outgained Syracuse by about 200 total yards on their way to a comeback win.
Someone at B.C. needs to convince the Syracuse Athletic Department that the two teams can enhance their
rivalry by meeting in the season opener each year, rather than waiting until the end of the season.
I watched Black Hawk Down for the first time last week. I'm wondering ... is it now in the Screen
Actors Guild bylaws that Tom Sizemore must be in every war movie?
Despite the misery of the Red Sox season, I can't help but feel giddy knowing that Dan Duquette,
Carl Everett and Jose Offerman are all long gone.
If the Raiders kick two field goals and lose a game 7-6 this year, will the team and their fans whine about
the loss for eight months because NFL rules say that field goals are worth only three points, not four?
I was in shock earlier this week when I learned that the Gilbert Brown-esque Anna Nicole Smith actually
has a personal trainer. What is this person being paid to do? I don't think anyone has deserved to
be fired this much since Captain Hazelwood took the Exxon Valdez for a drunken joyride.
You know you are spending too much time at work when you are making a call from home and you dial "9"
for an outside line.
The Cleveland Browns are now officially the NFL's version of the Boston Red Sox. The Brownies, pre
or post expansion, seem to possess the same deadly combination of bufoonery and bad luck that only
Boston Red Sox fans can understand. Here is some of the recent history:
What an incredible first week in the NFL, especially when you are a DirecTV/NFL Sunday Ticket subscriber.
Of the 16 opening week games, 11 were decided by one score (eight points) or less and most of those were
still in doubt with one minute remaining in the game. Three games went to overtime. In fact, three of the
five games that were not competitive still gave me great joy - the first, Matt Millen's Lions getting
pasted by Miami; the second, the Dallas Felons losing to an expansion team in that franchise's first game
ever, and third, the perpetually-disrespected Patriots beating up the Steelers on National TV ... again.
Man, it's great to have football back.
Random Notes - September 1, 2002
Three months ago, I believed that the idea of a baseball strike in 2002 was outlandish.
Over the past decade, we have grown familiar with the insatiable greed displayed by Major League Baseball
players and the unrelenting stupidity that has become commonplace for baseball owners. Still, how could
either side be foolish enough to allow a work stoppage that would likely ruin the game forever.
The past year has been one of the worst in American history. America has been at war,
families are struggling to recover from the events of September 11th and senior citizens have lost their
life-savings because of corporate corruption, yet we are forced to listen to the reasons why a collection of
750 arrogant, pampered prima donnas might feel obliged to abandon a game (let me repeat, A GAME) that pays
them, on average, $2.5 million per year. That's about $15,000 per day to run around in the sun for two
or three hours playing a kid's game. On the other side are a group of 30 billionaire weasels
who have backed themselves into a corner with their foolish overspending. Many of these same men promised
fans a new era of fiscal responsibility after the 1994 strike, then promptly allowed the average player
salary to double in the next seven years. I am certainly not one of those people who will claim that baseball
players are paid too much. These men are the best in the world at what they do. If Keanu Reeves can earn $20
million per movie and a CEO can earn a $50 million annual bonus when his company's stock falls 80% in the same
year then Alex Rodriquez is probably a bargain at $25 million per year. The problem lies in the fact that the
game's health is jeopardized by these salaries.
But, I guess all is well that end's well. For the first time, the two sides actually reached an agreement
without a work stoppage. That in itself is historic. I have read through the specifics of the new labor
agreement. Here is a rundown of what I like and don't like about the new collective bargaining agreement.
What I like
And the Rest of the Notes ...
Believe it or not, I was relieved when William Green decided to leave Boston College early and enter the NFL Draft. Green
gave BC fans many thrills during his three years at the Heights, but it became abundantly clear last season that
William felt that his own interests came before the team. Green was suspended not once, but twice in the past two
years for violating team rules. The second suspension last season almost certainly cost the Eagles a victory
over eventual National Champion Miami. Many BC fans made excuses for Green, claiming that he is young and
immature and should be given the benefit of the doubt. The last time I checked, the rest of those guys on the
team were young as well, but they were able to follow Coach O'Brien's rules. The Eagles will miss Green's talent,
but he is clearly not a guy that the 2002 Eagles could have counted on. It is
very unfortunate that Green tarnished what was a phenomenal career at BC. However, despite my enormous
disappointment, I do wish Green well in his new career with the Cleveland Browns.
I really, really hate the fact that I have to root against Tyrone Willingham now that he coaches
Notre Dame. Willingham is likeable and has all the makings of a great coach. If he succeeds at
Notre Dame, it will be that much tougher to stomach knowing that Notre Dame ended up with Willingham
only because of their own ineptitude while searching for a replacement for Bob Davie. If Willingham
had refused Notre Dame's offer, the only coach left would have been Craig T. Nelson.
If there is a sequel to Vin Diesel's new action movie XXX (and we know that there will be), will
it be called XXXXXX or YYY?
I caught a glimpse of the WBNA's Seattle Storm Coach Lin Dunn the other day. Are we 100% certain that this
isn't Dick Versace in drag?
Is there anyone that looks more uncomfortable in an interview than Mel Gibson?
One of the funniest television moments of the past month was when Bill Parcells said that he
"always had a thing for Kathleen Turner" on the YES Network's interview show Center Stage.
I guess the Tuna is human after all.
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