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Random Notes - October 24, 2001

The NCAA promised that the BCS ranking system would bring more fairness to the process of deciding college football's mythical national champion. But, in actuality, the BCS has made things worse. The BCS sparked controversy last year when its computer rankings placed 10-1 Florida State #2 and sent them off to the Orange Bowl to play for the National Championship against undefeated Oklahoma. This angered many Miami fans who cried like five-year-olds who just dropped their ice cream cones. Cane fans argued that Florida State should not be selected ahead of 10-1 Miami (#3 in the final BCS standings) because the Canes beat the Seminoles during the season. For some reason Cane fans felt that the same logic didn't apply to #4 Washington who was also 10-1 and had beaten Miami head-to-head earlier in the season. The 2001 BCS standings were released for the first time this past week and again it is Miami who may be the odd man out. Miami is currently 4th in the BCS rankings behind Oklahoma, Nebraska and UCLA. The good news for Miami is that they will move up to #3 this week because Oklahoma plays Nebraska. The bad news for Miami is that, even if they keep winning, the Hurricanes could remain in the #3 slot for the remainder of the season if this week's Oklahoma-Nebraska winner and UCLA also finish the season undefeated. In this scenario, the Canes would again be shut out of the National Championship game, though they would likely end up #1 in both national polls. Although a Miami-UCLA matchup is the championship game that I would most like to see, I am rooting for the other scenario. I feel that the more times the existing system embarrasses itself, the closer we get to a college football playoff system.

It's great to have the greatest television show of all-time, Cheers, back on syndication (9pm-10pm on Nick at Nite). Here are three Cheers trivia questions (ranging from easy to expert) to test your knowledge: (1) What was Sam's nickname? (2) What is Woody's middle name? (3) What is Norm's real first name? Answers at the end of the notes section.

Current Redskins and former Penn State linebacker Lavar Arrington left Sunday's game with an apparent head injury. Arrington returned to the game in the second half. My guess is that the trainers removed Arrington from the game after Lavar failed the "count backwards from ten" head injury test then later realized that he can't pass that test on a normal day.

The Vancouver NBA franchise that moved to Memphis this season will still be known as the Grizzlies, at least for this season. Hopefully, the team's ownership will recognize that there is only one logical name for this team - the Memphis Elvises. I can see it now: Hound Dog blaring on the arena speakers, sequined jump suit warm-ups, giant sideburns taking the place of stripes on the sides of the player's shorts and both fat and skinny Elvis mascots.

I find it amusing that NFL receivers are so willing to leap into the stands behind the endzone and celebrate with the fans after a touchdown. Any other time, most of these wealthy players wouldn't be caught dead in the same places as the typical fan, but on Sunday they have no problem being slapped, grabbed and hugged by those same people.

Being impressed when the Yankees make it to the World Series is like being impressed when the guy with the Ferrari gets the girl or when the boss's son gets the big promotion. In each of the past two years, the Yankees have had a higher team payroll than the two teams (Oakland and Seattle) that they beat in the AL playoffs combined. The Diamondbacks are eighth in the league in payroll, but the Monees still outspent them by $28 million this season.

One of the toughest things about moving from Boston to Los Angeles is giving up Dunkin Donuts. There are days when I'd trade my car for a Coffee Coolata. If I ever become an eccentric millionaire (and that is my goal), I am going to open up a Dunkin Donuts store in my kitchen.

As time goes on, I find myself becoming more and more disenchanted with professional sports. I think the fact that Boston's four pro teams have all fallen on hard times has a lot to do with it, but it goes beyond that. I still follow the NFL religiously, but I find myself watching much fewer Major League Baseball, NHL and NBA games. Actually, I find it virtually impossible to watch an NBA game for more than a quarter. Private boxes and enormous local cable contracts have created a land of aristocrats and peasants, ruining much of the competitiveness on the pro level. Consequently, I have gravitated more in the direction of college sports, but even the college game seems to have lost something over the years. Much of that is due to the fact that the number of players leaving school early for the professional game has skyrocketed. On the plus side, this has improved competitive balance, but the overall quality of play has diminished greatly and the teams are not as recognizable as atheletes pass through the revolving door at the major programs. Anyway, I got a little nostalgic and came up with a list of the things I miss most about sports and the things that I would just as soon forget.

What I miss:

I miss the days when 40 home runs and 120 RBI's was a great season.
I miss the days when college basketball players stuck around for four years ... or at least two.
I miss the days when championships in baseball, the NHL and the NBA were won with good management and hard-working players, not with check books.
I miss endzone dances. The NFL doesn't want a Billy "White Shoes" Johnson knee-wiggle or an "Ickey Shuffle" but they seem to be very tolerant of the incessant trash talking.
I miss the days when NFL wide receivers were willing to take a hit.
I miss old Olympic hockey when the US used college guys and the Russians were still evil.
I miss Bruins radio play-by-play announcer Bob Wilson. Hockey is the worst radio sport imaginable but somehow Wilson made it exciting.
I miss the old NBA. Playoff series' involving the Celtics and Lakers or Celtics and Sixers were amazing. Those teams won titles because they had the players who could pass, shoot and dribble. Now teams win because they have the biggest, strongest guy who can outmuscle everyone and stuff a ball through a hoop.
I miss the days when the Indianapolis 500 was the only auto race on TV.
I miss watching football when my TV screen didn't look like a video game. First down lines and a small scoreboard in the corner is fine, but enough is enough.
I miss the Battle of the Network Stars and the Laff Olympics. Who wouldn't love to see Jennifer Aniston in the dunking booth or Homer Simpson going up against Eric Cartman in the obstacle course?
I miss Chief Nok-a-homa.
I miss the days when the Big East Basketball Conference had nine teams. You could count on playing Providence, Georgetown, St. John's, Villanova, Connecticut and Syracuse twice every year.
I miss Dewey Evans and Pudge Fisk, Cam Neely and Ray Bourque, John "Hog" Hannah and Larry, Kevin and the Chief.

What I don't miss:

I don't miss symmetrical cookie cutter baseball stadiums.
I don't miss Ray Lucas, Tommy Hodson, Hugh Millen, Scott Secules, Jay Barker, Marc Wilson, Tom Ramsey, Tony Eason or Tom Flick.
I don't miss the early 1980's uniforms such as the Washington Bullets horizontal striped shirts that made Manute Bol look like a giant candy cane, the Houston Astros rainbow shirts and orange caps, the Vancouver Canucks v-shaped jerseys that looked like your grandfather's ugliest sweater and the three-tone baseball caps worn by the Expos, Orioles and White Sox.
Speaking of uniforms, I don't miss the short-shorts worn by 80's NBA teams.
I don't miss the days of college basketball before the three point line and shot clock. There was nothing worse than watching a team take a four point lead with sixteen minutes to play and attempt to pass the ball around in the "four corners" offense for the rest of the game.
I don't miss all the Red Sox "hot prospects" that eventually disappointed me.
I don't miss Albert Belle or Tony Phillips.

Here are the Cheers answers: (1) Sam's nickname was "Mayday" (2) Woody's middle name is Tiberius (3) Norm's real first name is Hillary. If you got all three, you a truly a Cheers expert.

Random Notes - October 17, 2001

As a friend noted to me the other day, the most upsetting thing about Saturday's loss to Virginia Tech was the lack of emotion displayed by the Boston College coaching staff. The Eagles were committing one dumb, undisciplined penalty after another and all we saw was an eye-roll or two from Tom O'Brien. Meanwhile, Virginia's Tech defensive coach was seen screaming and breaking chalkboards because his team gave up 13 points. Coach O'Brien needs to pattern his sideline demeanor to be more like Tom Coughlin and less like Dan Henning.

The national championship race in college football looks like it will be more interesting than ever this year. We may even decide who plays in the championship game based on what happens on the field, rather than on a computer geek's hard drive. It looks like six teams will battle for the right to play in this year's #1 vs #2 title game at the Rose Bowl on January 3rd. Interestingly, these six undefeated teams are comprised of two teams from each of three conferences. They are Miami and Virginia Tech from the Big East, UCLA and Oregon from the PacTen and Oklahoma and Nebraska from the Big12. As luck would have it, each of these conference foes will play each other later in the season. Circle your calendars for: #2 Oklahoma at #3 Nebraska on October 27th, #5 Oregon at #4 UCLA on November 10th and #1 Miami at #6 Virginia Tech on December 1st. Oklahoma and Nebraska could also meet in a Big12 championship game on December 1st. Obviously, if all three of those conference winners finish undefeated, one will be "BCSed" out of the championship mix. My prediction is that we will see Miami and UCLA in Pasadena on January 3rd.

What a performance by Mike Mussina in Game 3 of the AL Divisional Series. The big righthander pitched shutout ball for 7 innings, bailing out a pathetic Yankee offense in a 1-0 win. Mussina's effort not only kept the Yankees from being swept out of the playoffs without a win, it enabled them to come all the way back to win the series. This underscores two undeniable truths about major league baseball: (1) there still isn't anything more important to a team than a great starting pitcher and (2) money still buys playoff success.

Kiss was forced to drop out of an upcoming benefit concert in Washington DC because singer and guitarist Paul Stanley needs to go in for hip surgery. Hey guys, I think you're officially too old for spandex and face paint when your band members start missing concerts because of hip surgery.

The Rams may have the best group of wide receivers in the NFL but they are also the wimpiest. Whenever a defender approaches in the open field, the Ram receivers dive to the turf before there is even a chance to get hit. You would think that if Kurt Warner is willing to get whacked by pass rushers 10 or 15 times per game, the least that Tory "Is that short for Victoria?" Holt could do is allow himself to get tackled once in a while.

Do you get the feeling that if Dennis Miller calls Melissa Stark "Missy" one more time on the Monday Night Football telecast, she's going to head up to the booth and break a chair over his head? ... Speaking of Melissa Stark, I'm disappointed that Eric Dickerson is getting one out of every three sideline interviews this year instead of the one out of four he got last year ... I haven't seen the ratings, but I'm sure this week's Redskins-Cowboys telecast probably had fewer viewers than the ESPN/ESPN2 "We Give Up Monday" lineup of women's billiards and men's figure skating. ABC would have been better off showing a tape of a 1985 Cowboys-Redskins game.

Of the 21 New England Patriot games the past two seasons, 17 have been decided by a margin of eight points or less. Of the 14 losses the Pats have suffered since the start of the 2000 season, 12 have been by eight points or less. Patriot games have not necessarily been well-played or even interesting, but they have definitely been competitive.

Happy Birthday to Evel Knievel, who turned 63 this week. I can't imagine many people bet the over on that one.

Random Notes - October 1, 2001

Notre Dame is now off to their worst start in school history at 0-3. You know what that means -- four more losses and the Irish can kiss their Fiesta Bowl hopes goodbye.

The Bonehead Coach of the Week Award goes to Kansas State Head Coach Bill Snyder. After scoring a touchdown to cut Oklahoma's lead to 38-35 with 2:02 left in the fourth quarter, Snyder elected to kickoff rather than go for the onside kick. The only problem was that Kansas State had only one timeout left. Following a three and out and intentional safety by Oklahoma, K-State got the ball back, but only had time for one hail mary pass (as anyone who has ever watched a football game before could have guessed). Snyder might end up as the first head coach in the NCAA with a clock management assistant.

You had the love it the other day when BC's T.J. Stancil tackled Army's D.J. Stancil (no relation).

Let's recap: Douglas Richard Flutie 3-0, Rob "Dan Cortese" Johnson 0-3. Doug is now 33-14 as a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Flash ahead to the 2002 MTV Movie Awards. "And the Award for the Worst Hairpiece in a motion picture goes to ... Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton for Bandits."

Rutgers head football coach Greg Schiano was recently quoted as saying "Are we as talented as Miami and Virginia Tech? No. Will we be someday? Yes." Schiano didn't say which sport he was talking about, but my guess is synchronized swimming or chess. The Scarlet Knights are 1-3 this season, having lost by a combined 111-0 to the aforementioned Hurricanes and Hokies then following that up with a 20-19 loss to UConn.

Are there any Nebraska linemen that don't look like Eric Cartman?

I wonder what it is like to be the mediocre pro athlete brother of a superstar athlete. It must cause a mighty big inferiority complex. The names Billy Ripken, Dan Gwire and Mike Maddux immediately come to mind. Actually, the most notable inferior athelete brother of all time might be Jose Canseco's twin Ozzie. Ozzie is like the Wondertwin that could only turn himself into a bucket of water while his sibling was becoming a lion, tiger or fire-breathing dragon.