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Random Notes - December 17, 2001

I think it's time that Patriots kicker Adam Vinatieri gets the credit that he deserves. Last week Vinatieri converted all four of his field goal attempts in a 12-9 win over Buffalo. The four-for-four performance put Vinatieri's career field goal percentage at 80.5%. This conversion rate is better than Morten Andersen, Gary Anderson, Jason Hanson and Jason Elam. This is even more impressive when you take into account that two of those players spent most of their careers with dome teams and one played half his games a mile above sea level. Gary Anderson kicked in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, but has played his last four seasons with a dome team. Speaking of domes, Vinatieri is a perfect 23-for-23 in dome stadiums during his career. An even more amazing stat is that Adam is a combined 57/62 (92%) against division rivals Miami, New York and Indianapolis. Surprisingly, Vinatieri was only 15/30 (50%) against Buffalo before Sunday's game.

First, former Red Sox leftfielder Jim Rice was the Red Sox hitting coach. Now Boston's former great rightfielder Dwight Evans is taking over the job. I guess we know what Fred Lynn will be doing in about five years.

Top Ten Signs You Are Playing In a Crappy Bowl Game
- 10. Your bowl starts at 10am on a Tuesday
- 9. Your corporate sponsor is Chico's Bail Bonds
- 8. Your game in in Boise, Idaho
- 7. Ronald McDonald is your Bowl's Commissioner
- 6. Your opponent has a losing record (sadly, this is reality)
- 5. Your game is being televised on tape delay following Women's Billiards
- 4. The coaches yell at you when you do play defense
- 3. The Bowl invites three teams in case one doesn't show up
- 2. In the paper, your Bowl is listed as the "Sponsorship Rights Available" Bowl
- 1. Your opponent is so bad, they lost to Notre Dame
My Holiday Shopping List
- For Carl Everett -- the Jurassic Park trilogy on DVD
- For "No-mah" Garciaparra -- a guest host spot on Saturday Night Live. Hey, if Jeter can do it ...
- For Terry Glenn -- a one-way ticket out of New England
- For Pedro Martinez -- a copy of A League of Their Own, because he needs a reminder that "there's no crying in baseball."
- For Matt Millen -- a 1-15 season. I was hoping for 0-16, but the stores aren't carrying that anymore.
- For the New York Yankees from George Steinbrenner -- a World Championship trophy. Because he has proven that those can be bought.
- For Bruins Owner Jeremy Jacobs -- an overnight visit by three ghosts.
- For the BC basketball team -- a win over Duke.
- For Jose Offerman -- a retirement party.
- For Laker fans -- a larger bandwagon.
- For the people of Montreal and Minnesota -- another season of baseball. Of course, the people of Montreal may return that gift.
- For Troy Brown -- a pro bowl selection and the credit he deserves.
- For Rick Fox -- a haircut. The ponytail works for Mia Hamm, it doesn't work for you.
- For the people of New York -- Osama bin Laden in a cage in the middle of Central Park.
- For Derek Lowe -- one of those flashy things from Men In Black so he can erase last season from his memory.
- For Alumni Stadium -- a natural grass surface.
- For Who Wants to Be a Millionaire -- a 35 second shot clock.

Random Notes - December 12, 2001

I'm certainly not one to shed a tear for Syracuse University but I can't help but feel some sympathy pain for the kick in the groin delivered to the Orangemen and their fans by the Gator Bowl Selection Committee. Virginia Tech, which finished a full two games behind Syracuse in the Big East standings, will head to the more prestigious Gator Bowl on January 1st while Syracuse will be shipped to Arizona for the far less notable Insight.com Bowl. Not only did Syracuse finish two games ahead of Virginia Tech in the standings but they beat the Hokies in Blackburg, played a tougher non-conference schedule, and finished the season stronger (9-1 as compared to Tech's 3-3 finish). Even the idiots who run these bowls would not foolishly attempt to argue that Virginia Tech earned the bowl bid on the field. No, the Hokies will play on New Year's Day for one simple reason ... geography. Blacksburg, VA is closer to Florida than Syracuse, NY. The Virginia Tech fans will - it turns my stomach to use this phrase - "travel better."

Troy Bell is on the brink of passing Brian Gionta and becoming my second favorite Boston College sports star of all time. Not only does he do it all on the court, but he does it with class and a humble nature that is rare in superstar athletes. Jason Williams should take notes.

As a Patriots fan, I can't help but get that bad feeling that whatever the team does with Tom Brady and Drew Bledsoe, it will work out badly. If Bledsoe is traded (or exposed in the expansion draft) he will end up with a good team and win a couple of Superbowls while Tom Brady turns out to be a one-hit wonder. On the other hand, if the Pats trade Brady and keep Bledsoe, Brady will go on to become one of the great quarterbacks for someone else and Bledsoe will continue his slow descent to mediocrity.

I think Drew Bledsoe deserves some credit for not whining about the current situation. He is a nine-year veteran and a three-time pro bowler who has been benched for a rookie. I don't disagree with Belichick's decision to stay with Brady, but Bledsoe should be commended for his maturity. How many pro athletes would be screaming bloody murder right now if they were in Drew's shoes?

If I had the choice between going to see the new Meg Ryan movie where she falls in love with a guy from 1876 or bathing in honey then diving head first into a giant bee hive, I think I would choose the beehive.

Oh, how I love to see the frustration and disappointment on Matt Millen's face every time the Lions lose. The Lions may get even worse once Millen has more time to really ruin things.

I loved Ryan Sidney's interview after the Iowa State game. With his jaw wired shut, he sounded like Mush Mouth from the Fat Albert Show.

It sickened me to see N'Sync next to the Beatles in the Hollywood Wax Museum. That's the equivalent to Morton's serving tater tots with the filet mignon. Even in his wax form, I could see John Lennon cringing.

A forecast: Number of Clipper fans in LA today: 212. Number of Clipper fans in LA after the Clips make the playoffs: 1,000,000. Number of Clipper fans in LA if the Clippers ever become better than the Lakers: 5,000,000. Ladies and Gentlemen, start your bandwagons!

Much like Bill Clinton and Robert Downey Jr, the BCS system just can't help but embarrass itself. Had Tennessee won the SEC Championship game, the BCS would have saved itself from much of the criticism that has come its way ... again. But with Nebraska, fresh off a 62-36 loss in their final game, heading to the Rose Bowl to face Miami, the BCS has again become a circus. Fans of 10-2 Colorado, 10-1 Oregon, 10-1 Illinois and 10-1 Maryland, all have a right to claim that they should play for the Championship. Colorado is probably the best team right now and would likely provide Miami with the greatest challenge, but the Buffs lost two games and really shouldn't be considered. Illinois would be a great story. How unfair is it that they finally win the Big Ten after a 17 year drought but won't be able to play in the Rose Bowl. Maryland is another great story, coming from nowhere to finish in the Top 10, though I'm sure that the Terps would resemble their mascot against speedy Miami. To me, Oregon is the clear-cut choice. Their only blemish in the tough Pac Ten was a seven point loss to Stanford. Instead we are left with Nebraska. Not only is Nebraska not the second best team in the country, they may be the fourth best team in their conference. At the very least, the rules should require that a team win its conference in order to play in the #1 vs #2 Championship Game.

Have you ever seen Kurt Warner's wife Brenda and Cruella DeVille in the same place at the same time?

The Lakers are clearly the best team in the NBA and many think they will be unbeatable in a playoff series. What does it say about the state of the NBA when the third best player on the league's best team is Derek Fisher. The Lakers can get away with it though, because almost no one in the NBA has more than two good players. The third best players (in my opinion) on the other NBA teams: Boston (Kenny Anderson), Orlando (Darrell Armstrong), New Jersey (Kenyon Martin), New York (Marcus Camby), Philadelphia (Derrick Coleman), Washington (Christian Laettner), Miami (Brian Grant), Chicago (the ballboy), Detroit (Corliss Williamson), Indiana (Jalen Rose), Toronto (Hakeem Olajuwon), Milwaukee (Sam Cassell), Charlotte (Elden Campbell), Cleveland (Zydrunas Ilgauskas), Atlanta (Theo Ratliff), San Antonio (Steve Smith), Dallas (Juwon Howard), Utah (Donyell Marshall), Minnesota (Joe Smith), Denver (Isiah Rider), Houston (Kevin Willis), Memphis (Lorenzen Wright), Sacramento (Mike Bibby), Seattle (Brent Barry), Clippers (Quentin Richardson), Portland (Damon Stoudamire), Phoenix (Shawn Marion) and Golden State (Danny Fortson). Not an impressive list, especially compared to the rosters of the 1980's. At that time, Robert Parish and James Worthy were the third best players on the Celtics and Lakers, respectively. Danny Ainge and Byron Scott were the fifth best players on those teams! In fact, Kevin McHale was once the Celtics sixth man. The Pistons fifth best player was probably Vinny Johnson. The early 80's Sixers fifth best was likely Mo Cheeks. Any of those #5 guys are probably better than half of the #3 guys listed above.