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Random Notes - November 24, 2004 I couldn't let the Pistons/Pacers/Detroit Fans riot pass without compiling an all new Idiot List. The only problem was limiting the list to only ten (which is why I've added a Dishonorable Mention Category). Here's the list: 10Big Guy in the Gray Shirt The rumor is that the enormous man seated to the right of Artest's victim in the stands that was punching Pacers from behind is Ben Wallace's brother. I have not seen any official report as to whether or not that is true. Whoever he is, he checks in at #10 on the Indiana/Detroit Fight Idiot List. He may have avoided making the list had he actually stood toe to toe with the Pacer players rather than repeatedly sucker punching them from behind. 9 Jim Gray I'm not sure if Jim Gray deserves to be called an idiot (at least not this time), but I gave him a spot in the top ten for his post-game/post-brawl report from The Palace. Even though the fight had been over for at least 30 minutes, Gray was a quivering mess as he recounted the events for ESPN News. Gray has been in the business for a long time and it's not like he was involved in the fight. In fact, he was about the only person there that was not punched by one of the Pacers. How this brawl caused Gray to become the emotional equivalent of a teenage girl whose prom date didn't show up is a great mystery. 8 Fans Throwing Beer and Water The #8 slot on the Idiot List goes to all of the fans who threw beer, water and popcorn on top of the Pacers as they left the floor. It is simply amazing that so many people were doing it. Hopefully, all of those people were captured on camera and will not be allowed back in The Palace. I guess that's just Detroit being Detroit. You can't spell Detroit without r-i-o-t. 7 Ben Wallace Ben Wallace gets the #7 slot in this version of the Idiot List for starting the whole incident with a shove to Artest's face. It's not so much the shove that I have a problem with - Artest deserved that much. It's the fact that Wallace continued after him. Artest, the coward that he is, wanted no part of Wallace and scurried away but Big Ben wouldn't let it go. 6 Jermaine O'Neal The only player who received an excessive suspension, in my opinion, was Jermaine O'Neal. As far as I could tell, O'Neal's only punch was directed at a fan that ran out on the floor and challenged Artest (more on that guy in #5). I actually give O'Neal credit for connecting. As we all know, NBA players are the worst fighters on the planet. My estimate is that about 5% of punches thrown by NBA players actually land on the target. O'Neal certainly deserved a suspension, but the commish should have been more lenient because the fan that Jermaine whacked came onto the floor. However, O'Neal deserves a spot on the Idiot List because his punch was so unneccesary. The guy that Jermaine smacked was roughly two feet shorter (though he and O'Neal may weigh the same). 5 Fat Idiots that Ran on the Court Next on the list are the two fat slobs in the white Pistons jerseys that ran out onto the court to challenge Ron Artest and the Pacers. How stupid are these guys? Both men (if you can call them men) received shots to the face, courtesy of Artest and O'Neal, though Artest's shot was a glancing blow. Hopefully, the morons will face criminal charges. More importantly, I hope no wacko judge allows the two fatties to sue anyone. If a person runs out onto the playing surface at a live sporting event, he deserves whatever he gets. 4 Stephen Jackson Apparently, Ron Artest is Stephen Jackson's role model because he followed Artest into the stands and started punching anyone in his path, regardless of whether or not that fan was guilty of anything. In fact, it could be argued that Jackson's behavior was even worse than Artest's because Jackson (a) was not provoked as Artest was and (b) seemed to be on his way to doing more damage if not for a teammate who held him back. If there was ever any doubt that Jackson is a first class idiot, it disappeared on Friday night. 3 Ron Artest Had Ron Artest gone into the stands to take the down the guy that actually threw the beer on him, I would have a much different opinion of the situation. Artest deserves every bit of his nearly full season suspension because he did not know who threw the beer and randomly attacked the most convenient fan in the area. That happened to be a scrawny, spectacled fan who was actually holding a drink (way to put that St. John's education to good use, Ron). Artest ran away when the gigantic Ben Wallace wanted to fight but he was more than willing to go after a guy that probably weighs 120 pounds soaking wet. Artest also deserves the suspension because he is a ticking time bomb. He's been suspended ten times in five years. If he doesn't get some professional help, he may do this, or something worse, in the future. Even now, he is not apologetic. He's basically a seven year old child trapped in the body of an immensely talented 25 year old man. 2 John Green America loves to turn idiots into heroes (just look at Michael Moore). The latest person to be rewarded for their malfeasance is John Green, the man who sparked Artest's mad dash into the stands by throwing a beer in the NBA star's face. Green appeared on television several times this week with his sleazy lawyer, asking for sympathy and wondering why the Pistons want to ban him from The Palace for life. Green hinted that he might be looking to sue someone (unreal!). More interestingly, it turns out that tossing beer is about the most innocent thing Green has ever done. He's got a criminal record that includes carrying a concealed weapon, assault and drunken driving as recently as last year [ LINK ]. Sadly, this pile of scum was not locked up long ago. The question is: will Green be charged or will he be let off the hook because so many people think the criminal acts against well paid athletes (especially those who play for division rivals) are not really worth pursuing? 1 Unknown Chair Thrower There was a lot of punching, grabbing and tossing of non-harmful items on Friday night. It's possible that someone could have been seriously hurt in the melee which is why Artest, Jackson, Mr Gray Shirt and John Green should be charged for their roles. However, flying fists are one thing. Tossing a chair is quite another. The last time I checked the police were trying to track down the person who tossed the chair during Friday's altercation, hitting a 67 year old man in the head. This was the most serious of many serious acts of idiocy. I am crossing my fingers that the police are able to locate this dirtbag and toss him in cell for a while (Frank Francisco has an alibi so he's in the clear). Dishonorable Mention:
More Notes on the Brawl
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NOTES ARCHIVE World Series Notes (10/28/2004)Baseball Playoff Notes (10/4/2004) Sox Wild Card Chase (9/27/2004) Summer Olympics and More (8/31/2004) AL and NL MVP and Cy Young Races (8/17/2004) Michael Moore, Idiot and Traitor (7/18/2004) More Crying from Bonds and Grady "Bobble Arm" Dolls (6/24/2004) Sox Update, LA Luckers News and More (6/8/2004) Eli "Spoiled Brat" Manning and More (5/9/2004) UConn's Easy Path to the Title and More (4/6/2004) Al Skinner and More (3/7/2004) A-Rod to the Yanks (2/16/2004) Pats Playoffs and More (1/23/2004) A-Rod Talk and More (1/4/2004)
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