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The ALCS Idiot List - October 13, 2003 10 Ed “Pony Tail Guy” Hillel In case you don’t know who I’m talking about, Ed Hillel was the man who was interviewed by FOX in the Yankee Stadium bleachers on Wednesday claiming that Todd Walker’s homerun off the foul pole (or some guy’s hand, depending on who you ask) was going to be a foul ball. I hate to call Ed (the possible brother of Len Tukwilla, driftwood sculptor) an idiot because he provided me with so much amusement in Game One, but the fact that he made a fool of himself on national television gets him the #10 spot on this list. I’m sure Ed doesn’t mind since he was a celebrity for a day on Thursday. Hope to see you at Game Six, buddy. 9 George Steinbrenner During the ALCS I learned that Steinbrenner wanted to go after David Ortiz during the off-season last winter. Steinbrenner already had former MVP Jason Giambi and Nick Johnson, but apparently wanted Ortiz (a 20 HR, 75 RBI guy in 2002) as well. I guess he wanted to use Ortiz as a pinch hitter. The Yankee gluttony knows no bounds. As everyone outside of New York knows, their success is all about the benjamins. 8 The FOX Broadcast Team Tim McCarver is a Yankee shill. The coverage from FOX is sickeningly anti-Boston and pro-New York. The FOX team turned every situation into the fault of the Red Sox and jumped to conclusions about Zimmer and the Fenway groundskeeper. It’s sad that of the three people in the booth, the most unbiased is the guy whose brother plays for the Yankees. Let’s add to that idiocy the endless shots of Ben and J-Lo during Game 3. Simply painful. 7 Yankees President Randy Levine Levine criticized the Red Sox for their lack of security at Fenway Park and called the atmosphere “lawless.” This is the most classic case of the pot calling the kettle black that I have ever heard. Earth to Randy, your team plays in Yankee Stadium, a place that is legendary for poor fan behavior. Yankee fans are chastised at Fenway Park, but opposing fans are lucky to get out of Yankee Stadium with their lives. What’s next? Will Levine start criticizing the Sox for their high payroll? 6 Don Zimmer I cannot imagine what was going through Don Zimmer’s mind when he charged Pedro on Saturday. He looked like a crazed rhino that had escaped from the zoo. I have to say that Zimmer showed some guts (though no brains) when he went after Martinez. Zimmer also won some points when he apologized during a press conference. I wish some of the other morons involved in Saturday’s events would step up to the plate and take some responsibility for their misdeeds. Now if only Zimmer would apologize for blowing a 14 ½ game lead in 1978. 5 Jeff Nelson We still don’t know who threw the first punch in the skirmish between Jeff Nelson and now famous Fenway groundskeeper Paul Williams, but the fact that Nelson got into it in the first place is incredible. The Yankees are trying to win a series and Nellie is more concerned with a guy waving a towel and cheering for his team in his own ballpark. If Williams was a problem, Nelson could have easily alerted security. Initial reports are that Nelson kicked Williams. It is hard to believe that a grown man would use his feet in a fight, but baseball players are notorious wimps so who knows. 4 Manny Ramirez I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been disgusted with Manny Ramirez over the past six weeks. From his ESPN interview where he proclaimed his desire to play for the Yankees, the sore throat that kept him from pinch hitting in the ninth inning of a crucial game, the showboating in the Oakland series (especially his 8th inning single in Game 4 where he seemed to care very little about what was going on in front of him despite the fact that he was the go-ahead run). Add to that his inane overreaction to Clemens high (and nowhere near inside) pitch on Saturday that caused the benches to clear. This is not the first time that Manny has shouted at a pitcher on a ball that wasn’t even close to him. Sox fans would be delighted if Ramirez showed half as much intensity running to first base as he did threatening Roger Clemens. 3 Pedro Martinez I’ve always said that there is a lot to like about Pedro on the mound and very little to like about Pedro off the mound. Pedro is an arrogant primadonna, a drama queen and one who is extremely preoccupied with his contract. He has been labeled as a headhunter in the past. The “head” part, I believe, has been unfair, but he’s definitely a hunter. He has drilled many a batter in the back in retaliation even when it was doubtful that the opposing pitcher hit the Sox batter on purpose. Pedro throws hard and he throws inside. That means that a lot of batters will be hit and players in this era whine whenever a pitch comes within two feet of them so thus the “headhunter” reputation. Many of those who defended Pedro on the same grounds will have a hard time making that argument in the future. Pedro deserves criticism for the pitch that almost hit Garcia (even Garcia knew it didn’t hit him). Was Pedro trying to hit Garcia? Probably. Was he trying to throw at his head? Probably not. Did he put his own frustration ahead of the team? Absolutely. My real disgust with Pedro occurred when he pointed to his head while screaming into the Yankees dugout. That act was disgraceful and was surely going to cause hysteria at some point. Martinez could have handled the Zimmer fiasco better as well, but it is very difficult to pin that one on Pedro (as most New Yorkers have done). For all Pedro knew, Zimmer could have been going after his pitching arm. Pedro had little time to react and his move on Zimmer, though more forceful than necessary, was defensive. 2 Karim Garcia During Game Four, FOX’s cellphone poll asked who was most to blame for Saturday’s events: Pedro, Manny, Zimmer or Clemens. As we all knew, Pedro received the most votes by a landslide (it was a stupid question). The funny part is that the biggest culprit was not even one of the choices. Karim Garcia, more than anyone, caused tensions to escalate on Saturday. Garcia had every right to bark at Pedro for throwing near his head. That is expected. The real problem occurred when Garcia ran past second base before sliding on a double play in an attempt to take out Todd Walker’s knees. If you tell me that this was a clean play, I think your brain is leaking. An argument ensued as the fat little pig oinked his way back to the dugout. Had Garcia’s dirty play on Walker not occurred tensions may have remained in check. At some point, a Sox batter would have received a retaliatory fastball in the back and that may have been the end of it. Garcia followed this up with a sprint to the bullpen to whack away at a Fenway groundskeeper who was already subdued by security. Garcia surely had no idea how it all started, but decided to go in swinging. I’m not sure about Nelson, but I hope Garcia is charged. 1 New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg On Sunday, Bloomberg claimed that Pedro Martinez should have been arrested for pushing a hard-charging Don Zimmer to the ground during the 4th inning melee. Bloomberg stated that “You just cannot assault people, even if it's on a baseball field.” Bloomberg apparently isn’t concerned with the fact that Zimmer was the aggressor and attempted to punch Pedro. I guess if I’m ever in New York City and an elderly man tries to punch me, I’m supposed to stand there and let him do it. Bloomberg makes it sound like Zim was walking along and minding his own business when Pedro jumped out from behind some bushes and attacked him. Though Zimmer and the players mentioned above cannot be excused for their actions, at least those things happened in the heat of battle. Bloomberg had a day to think about his words and still went on record with his insane comments. And people say that Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t fit for politics. Surprisingly not on the list:
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